Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

Twenty-Five.

During my blogging hiatus, I turned 25.

I’ve always loved my birthday. My parents always made me feel extra special on my day, showering me with presents, feeding me my favorite meals and desserts, surprising me with parties, taking me on trips–I would even venture to say my mother, in particular, went overboard.

I’ve always felt special, I’ve always felt loved and I’ve always loved the attention.

Through the first portion of my 20s, I wanted these celebrations to continue with friends–and they did. In college we would go out for dinner, have house parties, then make our way out to the bars and dance and laugh all night long. Even post-college, I felt the need to host small parties for myself, gathering with friends at my apartment or at the local pub.

DSCN0100.JPG

But this year…not so much. The thought of turning 25 left a horrible taste in my mouth and a knotted feeling in my stomach.

My problem with age 25 stems from remembering, so clearly, at the age of 18 thinking about someday being half way between 20 and 30. Envisioning myself in a fast-paced communications job, living in a big city, dating, engaged, or married to a wonderful, equally successful man who worshiped the ground I walk on.

DSCN0117.JPG

Currently, I don’t have any of those things. And as I went through college and post-college, my priorities and goals changed drastically and I am very happy with the situation I find myself in. I live on my own, in a quaint little apartment in a residential area, working two jobs for great employers. I make enough to support myself and my adventures.

DSCN0106.JPG

What scared the bejesus out of me about 2-5 is that I can still put myself into that 18 year old mind…I can close my eyes and feel as though I am there in that moment, thinking about who I will be when I turn 25…and when I open my eyes, here I am seven years later—25 years old. It feels like the time has disappeared, and I’m left with wonderful, fading memories.

Two months into my 26th year, I’m learning that the only way to combat this feeling is to work on making my goals into realities. I don’t want to look back in another seven years and again, wonder where the time went.

DSCN0126.JPG

And I did end up celebrating. My wonderful group of girlfriends would not allow for anything else, so I decided I would be happiest having a low key dinner and drinks in my mountain hometown. It was perfect and I couldn’t have thought of a better way to ring this milestone year.

How do you feel about birthdays? Have you had any unsettling feelings about a birthday?

Advertisements

Read Full Post »

Fridge Love

I have this secret love for my refrigerator that has nothing to do with the food inside.

IMG_0405
I spend alot of time in my kitchen. I have an open kitchen with a high-top table where I do most of my at home work. I enjoy my morning coffee and breakfast while catching up on blogs. I do my homework, pay my bills, and do paperwork at my little table next to my fridge. I don’t get to spend much time at home, so I’ve created my own little grown-up space to try to keep myself organized….key word here is “try”.
Anyway, I love my fridge because on it I have everything that I have to look forward to and everything to be proud of. Whenever I look at it, I get happy, plain and simple.

IMG_0406
My fridge reminds me of the upcoming wedding celebrations of the people I care about most. I have 5 total this year, and I am just not ready to take down my friend Jessica’s wedding invite from New Year’s Day this year….it was that special to me!

IMG_0407
I have my garbage and recycling schedule posted so I never forget when to put out my bags, it also has tips on staying green all year long. I like to be reminded of my grade report for my class–an A so far!–I feel like a little kid again with it hanging on the fridge, but I am proud!

IMG_0409
I have my grocery list, courtesy of Arnold’s and Orowheat, from the HLS. As soon as I am out of something in the food department, I conveniently write it down here.

IMG_0408
On the side of my fridge I keep a calendar to keep me on track for the month. I also have a 13.1 half marathon magnet, to keep me inspired to achieve my goal of someday running a half, a lovely thank you note from my friend’s mom, and a quick note from a funny story involving Jet’s QB Mark Sanchez that makes me chuckle every time I walk by.

IMG_0410

IMG_0411
My fridge reminds me of the sweet faces in my life that I love so much. These Christmas cards make me happy all year long.
What do you put on your fridge?

Read Full Post »

The Joy of Math

I was fortunate in my undergraduate work to never have to take a math class. I was able to do this because I took a Calculus class in high school through a University that allowed me to get three college credits before I even stepped foot on a campus.

I remember at the beginning of high school, I loved math. I had an amazing teacher my freshman year and I know that directly related to my high grades. Then, as I changed school, I became more social and less interested in the subject that had so many rules and definite answers. My teachers, until my senior year, paled in comparison to my freshman teacher, so that added to my complete dislike in the subject.

Somehow though, I still qualified to take the college credit Calculus class, which I somehow passed, even though I got a 55 on our final exam. (Mrs. Thomas, if you ever read this, thank you for passing me. I know that my grades did not have much to do with it!)

I’ve always proclaimed my love for English. I loved devouring the classics in my Independent Reading class in high school (still the best course I have taken…ever) and I so enjoyed my PR core classes in college that required me to write proposals and plans. What I found so desirable about reading, reading comprehension, and writing was that that lines of wrong and right were so blurry. I could design a completely different PR plan for a company as the person sitting next to me and both could be effective. I could read Pride and Prejudice and finish understanding the themes and characters, but what I felt about the book was not the same as my peer.

Through high school and college, the subjectivity of this was freeing and allowed me to express myself in a way that nothing else did. While there are rules of grammar, I was free to fill the pages with content, creating whatever ideas I wanted. For the most part, the opportunities were limitless. The rules, endless.

This version of me was drawn to that.

DSCN0486.JPG
“This” version is the me who would get dressed up to go to a house party, drink cheap beer, then make my way to the convenience store for a dinner of cheese and crackers on the picnic table. I don’t regret it. You wouldn’t either.
Enter: Statistics. I’m not sure why the book has a pair of Converse on it.
IMG_0398.jpg
I’m in the process of taking prerequisites so I can eventually go back for my Master’s degree in a different field. One of these courses is Statistics. When I saw this, I was immediately petrified. Just the phrase “math” makes my nervous. My mind goes back to my 18 year old self that was constantly confused, asked a million questions, but was no interested enough in the “rules” and formulas to consistently do well.
I’m half way through my stats course. And I LOVE it. I love the homework, I love the class and my professor, I love that I understand it. I love the whole damn thing.
High school and college are such structured years. Sure, when you get to college you can take anything you’d like, but there is a specific line of coursework that is predetermined in order to complete that major. I lived on my own, but I always knew that when summertime came, I was back at home. Rules dictated how to live life and for the most part, we all followed.
But after graduation and still today, I am trying to determine what I want based on what is best for me. Not what is written down on paper, not what my parents say. And still, almost 3 years after walking across the stage and receiving my diploma, I am still sorting through all of it. I’m trying to make the best decisions for myself, based on who I want to become and what I want my life to be.
Essentially, I have no rules tying me down and I’m still trying to understand what that means for me.
So when my professor says, “What is the probability of getting a heads when you flip a coin?”
I don’t have to retort back with, “Well, is that heads happy and set in it’s career? Does it have a significant other who is loyal and kind to it?” Or “How much money does the tails have in the bank? WIll that be enough for them to make a huge move or buy a house or go back to school? Is that tails ready to get married and have kids?”
Because for the answer, none of that matters. It is simply, 50%. And it is for that reason, I am thankful to have statistics.

Read Full Post »

Sarah’s ABCs

Good Morning! These ABC’s were floating around the blog world recently, so I decided to join the bandwagon.

I will be working all day, it is gorgeous here–get out and enjoy the sunshine if you’ve got it!

A. Age: 25 (a post on how I feel about turning 25 is in the works)

B. Bed Size: Queen…I love to just lay spread eagle in my bed and not touch the sides.

C. Chore you dislike: Laundry. I HATE folding it and putting it away…it takes me a week to finish the whole task and by that time I have to do it all over again.

D. Dogs: Charlie Parker, the best miniature daschund around. Look at that face!

  IMG_0062

G. Gold or Silver: Silver most often, but I’m learning to appreciate gold.

H. Height: 5’8”

I. Instruments you play(ed): I played the flute in elementary school. and the recorder…ha.

J. Job Title: Server and Administrative Assistant and Student currently. That will change eventually!

K. Kids: First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage. 🙂

L. Live: Upstate NY…nearish to Albany and Saratoga Springs.

M. Mom’s name: Eileen

N. Nicknames: Sing, Singer, Sing-a-ling (my middle name is Singer, a family name, and I have been called that most of my life…this See Sing Live!)

O. Overnight hospital stays: None to date!

P. Pet peeves: Self deprecation, passive-aggressiveness

Q. Quote from a movie: “Nobody puts Baby in the corner” rip patrick swayze!

R. Righty or lefty: Righty

S. Siblings: NONE…I’m an only child…any others out there? 🙂

T. Time you wake up: It varies from 7:00 – 8:00…sometimes it is so hard to get out of bed!

U. Underwear: Yes? How does one answer this?

V. Vegetables you don’t like: Raw onions have been my nemesis since I was born. Ick, I think they infest the taste and smell of anything they touch. But I like them very carmelized.

W. What makes you run late: Just about everything. I am generally late…my friends used to joke about how there is real time and there is “Sarah Time”.

X. X-rays you’ve had: Knees, knees, and more knees…mainly due to my frenemy, running…

DSCN0326

Y. Yummy food you make: My cooking is best when I just randomly throw things together…I don’t have any special recipes.

IMG_0158

Z. Zoo animal favorites: Penguins!

Read Full Post »

I had a little run in with this old flame today…

102809dogercise.jpg

(My gym doesn’t allow four legged friends, but how cute is this?)

For the first time in over a month I ran on the treadmill.
My goal was to give my body a much needed break from running until after Christmas, but I was feeling so stressed today that I hopped on the treadmill on the gym and did some sprinting. For me, there is no better release than a hard run. I only ran for about 15 minutes out of my 30 minute workout, but it felt great–just what the doctor ordered!

***

I eluded to the fact that my life has changed basically in the blink of an eye. While I am very comfortable in my decision to leave my day job, I am sad to say that John and I have decided to end our relationship. We have been together for a very, very long time and we both believe it has run its course. He will be moving out in a few weeks and I will be staying in our apartment. I am very sad to lose my best friend, I am scared to be on my own, and I am unsure about what the future holds. It is comforting to know that we are ending mutually and that we will always love one another. I literally have no idea what is next for me and that is terrifying and exciting at the same time.

Read Full Post »

Where have you been?

Hello there, blog world. It has been a while.

I have been busy working two jobs and living life. I haven’t been able to blog and truthfully, I haven’t wanted to until today. In recent weeks (maybe even months) I have been feeling so negative and in not wanting to share that with you, I have simply not blogged.

So, finally, I took some control of the things around me…and…

I quit my job.

I have worked at my current job for one year, I felt completely stuck and unhappy.

My current plan is to pick up some more hours at my waitressing night job, take a few minutes to breathe, and decide what is next…maybe school, maybe a move, maybe a new job in my field. Who knows?

I thought I would feel regret or be scared out of my mind after I told my bosses my decision….but I have yet to feel like this choice is anything but the best for me. And that is very empowering.

Photo 18.jpg

I can’t wait to have more time to devote to this blog–there are so many things I’ve wanted to improve, edit, and tweek and I KNOW I will have time to make it a true reflection of who I am.

So in the spirit of the eliminating the negative, here is a list of 5 things I’ve been LOVING lately.

1. Red Wine.
As far as alcohol is concerned, I like all of the major food groups. I love a thick, stouty beer; a crisp, refreshing vodka and soda with lime; and a citrusy glass of sauvignon blanc–it all depends on my mood. But lately I have been exploring red wine and I am in LOVE. I like a full bodied wine like this Penfolds shiraz/cab blend or any Zinfandel and Malbec. It takes the chill out of the air, I swear!

p_17018.jpg

2. Not running.
IMG_0254.JPG

I ran in the Susan G. Komen 5k in Albany on October 3, with the plan that it would be my last race and run until after Christmas. I have tendonitis in both knees and a heel spur in my right foot. In my opinion this means that my body is crying out for a break, so I’m taking one.

But I didn’t think I would like it. I thought they would have to tear me away kicking and screaming from that treadmill.

I was so wrong.

Hot yoga has completely filled any gap that not running would have left in my full workout heart. Now, don’t get me wrong, running will always have its place in my world and I fully intend to pick it back up when my body is ready. But hot yoga is challenging both mentally and physically unlike anything I have ever done. And I am loving every minute of it.
IMG_0145.JPG

Fact: Every time I try to go into camel pose, I start to hysterically cry. Jennilee says it is because it is such a heart opener that everything tender around my heart rushes to the head. Oye. I don’t see anyone else breaking down in class.

3. These perfectly gorgeous ladies.

IMG_0257.jpg

These are a pair of velvet and satin high, high heels that I bought for my friend’s wedding on January 1st.
Velvet…and…Satin.
IMG_0259.jpg
I NEVER buy heels over two inches. I am 5’8” as it is and I’ve never felt comfortable in heels. It is even rare that I buy myself new shoes, I have weird feet issues and it is hard to find anything that is cute and fits well. But I tried these on today I knew I had to bring them home to live with me forever.
Can you blame me?

4. Glee.
Please refrain from making fun of me for jumping on the bandwagon later than most, but I JUST fell in love with Glee. It wasn’t until Idina Menzel, whom I LOVE from Rent, made a guest appearance and sang Poker Face with Lea Michele that I became hooked.
images.jpeg
Fact: I have a sick obsession with Rent and the soundtrack, I know every word to every song. We used to blare it in my house in college.

5. My wide open future.
Leaving a job is scary business, but I was so very ready. I am loving the thought that right now, anything and everything is an option. I could start over from scratch if I want to. Usually that would make me feel sick to my stomach, but I am so embracing it right now.

What are YOU loving lately?   

Read Full Post »

…buy a good vodka and some sugar.

Just kidding.

But in all seriousness, I’ve got the blues, friends.

After college I really expected my life to be different. I thought I would get a dream job, be hussling and bussling in some trendy city, and be all around loving life.
Well, things don’t always go as planned, I’ve learned.
I’m not where I want to be job wise, I’m living in suburban upstate New York, and I know change is in order.

So that is the plan….to make a plan and do it.

“The best of times is now.” -Oprah

Read Full Post »